The Anxious Parent and the Admissions Process

I wrote this article for the Fall 2020 issue of The Yield. The article is based on research that I conducted in 2019 surrounding the idea of parent anxiety in the admissions process and how schools approach it and work to mitigate the anxiety. If you would like a copy of the full white paper, please contact me.

Parent Anxiety in Admissions

In 2019, the admissions industry was rocked by scandals involving parents behaving badly, such as the “Varsity Blues” scandal, where an educational consultant in California took huge payments from wealthy parents to falsify information that would help their students gain an unfair advantage in admission to elite colleges.

As I heard the news, I wondered, what would cause parents to do that?

At the time, we were all blissfully unaware of how life might be upended by a global pandemic, and this seemed like outrageous behavior worthy of consideration. If we could delve into parent anxiety in the K–12 independent school admission process, we could learn how admissions professionals can approach and mitigate a seemingly new level of anxiety in parents. In my research, I interviewed nineteen admissions professionals working in schools across the United States, Canada, and Belgium with a predetermined set of questions to form the basis of a qualitative study. While the results are fascinating, the phenomenal shift in parent priorities in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic and the ways schools have responded is remarkable.

That Was Then

The first question of my 2019 interview was, “What is the primary cause for parent anxiety in the admissions process?” The answer was well summarized by Amy Keller, Director of Admission and Enrollment Management at Albuquerque Academy (NM): “When any human being is asked to give up control over two things that they love most in life, meaning their children and their money, they will experience anxiety.”

The data showed that the top five areas producing the greatest anxiety in parents in independent school admissions are:

1. The Admissions Process. The documents that are required for the application, filling out the application and keeping track of the progress, entrance testing, the parent interview, deadlines, and the playdate or shadow day are all stressful situations for families.

2. Being Admitted. Parents do not want to put a child, or themselves, through the rigorous process of judgment, evaluation, and financial transparency if there is little hope that their child will be accepted. The more competitive the school or market is, or the less transparent the acceptance criteria are, the more likely parents will self-select out of the process.

3. Affording the School. At San Francisco Day School, Homa Hanjani, Director of Admission, works closely with the business office to ensure that parents understand how to fill out financial aid forms. “Even with deep tuition discounts, families are stretching. If our aim is to have an inclusive community and we are not considering the other fees and expectations, like athletics and the annual fund, that help a family feel like part of the community, then our attempts at inclusivity are falling short,” says Hanjani.

4. Social and Emotional Needs. Many families have two working parents, and they look to the school to provide a full range of social needs and structures for both their children and themselves. At Montessori School of Denver, Tara Gerke, Director of Admission, notes, “Parents want to know that their child will fit in and have friends and that the parents will be joining a community of like-minded individuals who will be their friends. Once enrolled and that is happening, they shift the focus to academics.”

5. Academic Reputation. Parents do extensive research before contacting the school or attending an admissions event. Their research includes both the information the school controls (website, social media posts, radio, or print) and the information it does not (reviews, social media comments, word of mouth, gossip). Jennifer Brodsky, Director of Admission at Nightingale-Bamford School (NY), says that she sees parents putting an enormous amount of pressure on themselves to make a decision for the next thirteen years for their child. She says, “I worry when I hear my colleagues tell parents that ‘this is the most important decision you will make for your child.’ When a child is 4 or 5, we just don’t know what kind of learner they will be and if this will be the right fit in 5 or 10 years.”

Two other areas of concern revealed in the study did not make it to the top five. However, with shifting priorities in the reality of a global pandemic, those areas are now main sources of anxiety and decision making for parents: safety and security and lifestyle quality.

This Is Now

In my discussions with school administrators about their enrollment approach in relation to the pandemic, it’s clear that some administrators are experiencing demand upon which they are uniquely positioned to capitalize, while others are not. The top three areas of demand driven by pandemic-related anxiety are:

1. Safety and Security. Last year, parents worried about campus safety particularly as their child moved from a preschool environment to a traditional school setting. The schools that were set in an urban campus needed to allay parent fears about strangers on campus or thefts, but even those on sprawling rural or suburban campuses received questions about crisis policy, how long it would take for help to arrive, or worries about their child getting lost on a 700-acre campus. This year, the areas that caused concern for parents in the past become selling points.

For example, schools with an excess of building space and a sprawling campus, which may have felt overwhelming to prospective families last year, can become part of the school’s policy and protocol to ensure disease containment should there be another outbreak. St. Paul’s School, in Maryland, was in the process of constructing a new building when the pandemic started. To create even more space for social distancing and its newly formed “pod” model, it retained the portable classrooms that students used while the building was being built, divided the cafeteria into multiple classroom spaces, and now has a new building to create even more classroom space.

Woodberry Forest School, a boys’ boarding school in Virginia, has always been a 100% boarding environment. That can be a difficult sell for students who see the presence of day students as a conduit to additional social opportunities. This year, the school is seeing increased interest from parents who want a closed, quarantined community, one that they see as safer and better protected from the virus.

2. The Value of a Private School Education. This past spring, some public schools were unable to provide the same depth of remote learning experiences as independent schools, and parents worried that their child would lose ground. This was particularly troubling for parents of middle and upper school students. Parents of younger students became anxious that their children were not interacting with enough other children and developing their social skills. Now, as many public schools across the country commit to virtual learning, those parents are rethinking their options and looking to private schools. Many independent school admissions offices are seeing an increase in inquiries because parents are seeking schools with in-person learning, which independent schools are better prepared to offer.

3. Lifestyle and Location. Last year, parents wanted the school to be close to home or work and were unwilling to drive kids across town, sit in traffic, or have a child on a bus for an hour at a time. With many companies adopting a work-from-home policy at least through 2021, some families feel liberated from geographical constraints and are moving out of crowded, expensive urban areas to locations where they have always wanted to live. For example, The Kent School, in Chestertown, Maryland, and Foothills School of Arts and Sciences, located in Boise, Idaho, saw a phenomenal increase in inquiries this summer from families that left big cities and relocated to these smaller towns in search of a slower pace and less crowding. Independent schools provide an excellent educational option in locations such as these.

What Will Be

In my original study, I asked admissions directors to share their most effective strategy in mitigating anxiety in parents during the admissions process. Though the content and approach might vary before, during, and after the pandemic, the advice still rings true:

1. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. Responsiveness, openness, honesty, and repeatedly sharing information are all hallmarks of an efficient admission department with less instances of behavior indicative of anxiety in parents. Essentially, what feels like overcommunication to admissions directors is a step in the right direction for adequate communication for parents.

2. Have Hard Conversations Early. The collective advice from interviewees is that a big part of the job is having hard conversations with parents about fit, finances, fears, and managing expectations. School leaders that were able to deeply listen to parent concerns and identify if those concerns and needs could be met by the school are in the best position to quickly and sensitively help parents understand why the school may or may not be a good fit.

Through transparency and communication, independent schools can reduce the anxiety that parents feel in the admissions process and not only improve retention and yield, but also determine new policies and practices for future enrollment efforts.

The author, Jill Goodman, is a consultant working with independent school leaders to advance their school’s mission, enhance their processes, and bolster their skills. Learn more about all services here.